Γράμμα ενός αρρώστου - The letter of an ill person

nikolas · April 15, 2002

Φίλε μου Αλέξη, το 'λαβα το γράμμα σου | My friend, Alexi, I received your letter

και με ρωτάς τι γίνομαι, τι κάνω | and you ask me how I am, how I am doing

Μάθε, ο γιατρός πως είπε στη μητέρα μου | learn, the doctor said to my mother

ότι σε λίγες μέρες θα πεθάνω... | that in a few days, I will die...

Είναι καιρός όπου έπληξα διαβάζοντας | It has been a long that I am bored by reading

όλο τα ίδια που έχω εδώ βιβλία | always the same, that I have here, books

κι όλο εποθούσα κάτι νέο να μάθαινα | and always I wished something new to learn

που να μου φέρει λίγη ποικιλία | that would bring to me a little change

Κι ήρθεν εχθές το νέο έτσι απροσδόκητα | and came the news yesterday, unexpectedly

σιγά ο γιατρός στο διάδρομο εμιλούσε | lowly the doctor, in the corridor, was speaking

και τ' άκουσα, στην κάμαρα σκοτείνιαζε | and I heard it, in the room it was getting dark

κι ο θόρυβος του δρόμου σταματούσε | and the noise of the street disappeared

Έκλαψα βέβαια, κάτω απ' την κουβέρτα μου | I cried of course, under my blanket

Λυπήθηκα. Για σκέψου, τόσο νέος | I felt sorry. Just think, how young

μα στον εαυτό μου αμέσως υποσχέθηκα | but to myself, at once, I promised

πως θα φανώ, σαν πάντοτε, γενναίος | to appear, as always, brave

Θυμάσαι, που ταξίδια ονειρευόμουνα | Do you remember, that I dreamt of trips

κι είχα ένα διαβήτη κι ένα χάρτη | and I had a diabetes and a map

και πάντα για να φύγω ετοιμαζόμουνα | and always to leave I was preparing

κι όλο η μητέρα μου 'λεγε: Το Μάρτη... | and always my mum said: In March...

Τώρα στο τζάμι ένα καράβι εσκάρωσα | Now, on the window, a ship I schemed

κι ένα του Μαγκρ στιχάκι έχω σκαλίσει: | and a Magr's lyric I have scratched

«Τι θλίψη στα ταξίδια κρύβεται άπειρη!» "What sorrow is hidden in trips, infinite!"

κι εγώ για ένα ταξίδι έχω κινήσει | for a trip I am leaving, too

Να πεις σ' όλους τους φίλους χαιρετίσματα | Tell all friends, greetings

κι αν τύχει ν' απαντήσεις την Ελένη | and if it happens and you meet Eleni

πως μ' ένα φορτηγό πες της μπαρκάρισα | tell her that with a storeship I have left

και τώρα πια να μη με περιμένει | and now, she should not wait for me

Αλήθεια, ο Χάρος ήθελα να 'ρχότανε | Really, I 'd like Charon to come

σαν ένας καπετάνιος να με πάρει | like a captain, to take me

χτυπώντας τις βαριές πέτσινες μπότες του | stamping, with his heavy leather boots

κι ένα μακρύ τσιμπούκι να φουμάρει | and a long chibouk to be smoking

Αλέξη, νιώθω τώρα πως σε κούρασα | Alexi, I feel now that I tired you

μπορεί κιόλας να σ' έκαμα να κλάψεις | maybe also I made you cry

δε θα 'βρεις, βέβαια, λόγια για μια απάντηση | you won't find, of course, words for an answer

μα δε θα λάβεις κόπο να μου γράψεις... | but you won't take the trouble to write...

Geske · April 16, 2002

Kavvadias!

Xembarkoi!

Nikolas, you really know how to pick them!!!!!

thank youuuuuuuuuuu!!

Tsinavo · April 16, 2002

What a beautiful poem!

Geske · April 17, 2002

Tsinavo, if you like this one, try also

http://www.dalaras.com/cgi-bin....66;st=0

Tsinavo · April 17, 2002

Thank you Geske, I knew that poem too. That poetry is wonderful.

Geske · April 17, 2002

You like Kavvadias?

He has many 'thavmastes' on this forum

Tsinavo · April 17, 2002

Yes, he is one of my favorite. I like reading his poems in the evening. Well, I don't read them actually, but open a page and meditate, or rather, dream. I like one of the poems in which he speaks about cats.

Geske · April 17, 2002

Is that Οι γάτες των φορτιγων (oi gates ton fortigon)?

I've just discovered it (thanks to you).

I like the one about the pipe.

Tsinavo · April 18, 2002

Is that Οι γάτες των φορτιγων (oi gates ton fortigon)?

Yes, it is this one. Lovely, great!

Geske · April 22, 2002

Double and triple and exponentially growing thanks to Nikolas - because though I do have a very nice books of Kavvadias' poems (with translations), I discovered yesterday that this one is not in it! And it is such a beautiful song.

I couldn't resist "doing up" the English a bit, though really Nikolas' translation was very good. It's just for the pleasure of being inside the poem for a little while... Here we go:

Φίλε μου Αλέξη, το 'λαβα το γράμμα σου | Alexis, my friend, I received your letter

και με ρωτάς τι γίνομαι, τι κάνω | and you ask me how I am, how I am doing.

Μάθε, ο γιατρός πως είπε στη μητέρα μου | Let me tell you, the doctor said to my mother

ότι σε λίγες μέρες θα πεθάνω... | that in a few days, I will die...

Είναι καιρός όπου έπληξα διαβάζοντας | It has been a long time that I am bored, reading

όλο τα ίδια που έχω εδώ βιβλία | always the same [few] books, that I have here,

κι όλο εποθούσα κάτι νέο να μάθαινα | and always I wished for something new to learn

που να μου φέρει λίγη ποικιλία | that would bring me a little change

Κι ήρθεν εχθές το νέο έτσι απροσδόκητα | And came the news yesterday, unexpectedly

σιγά ο γιατρός στο διάδρομο εμιλούσε | the doctor told it, low, in the corridor

και τ' άκουσα, στην κάμαρα σκοτείνιαζε | and I heard it, the room darkened

κι ο θόρυβος του δρόμου σταματούσε | and the noise of the street stopped.

Έκλαψα βέβαια, κάτω απ' την κουβέρτα μου | I cried of course, under my blanket.

Λυπήθηκα. Για σκέψου, τόσο νέος | I felt sorry. Just think, so young,

μα στον εαυτό μου αμέσως υποσχέθηκα | but to myself, at once, I promised

πως θα φανώ, σαν πάντοτε, γενναίος | to appear, as always, brave.

Θυμάσαι, που ταξίδια ονειρευόμουνα | Do you remember, that I dreamt of travels,

κι είχα ένα διαβήτη κι ένα χάρτη | and I had a compass and a map,

και πάντα για να φύγω ετοιμαζόμουνα | and always I was preparing to leave

κι όλο η μητέρα μου 'λεγε: Το Μάρτη... | and always my mother told me: In March...

Τώρα στο τζάμι ένα καράβι εσκάρωσα | Now, on the window, a ship I drew

κι ένα του Μαγκρ στιχάκι έχω σκαλίσει: | and a verse from Magr I have scratched [beside it]

«Τι θλίψη στα ταξίδια κρύβεται άπειρη!» | "What sorrow is hidden in travels, infinite!"

κι εγώ για ένα ταξίδι έχω κινήσει | I too am leaving on a journey.

Να πεις σ' όλους τους φίλους χαιρετίσματα | Give all the friends greetings

κι αν τύχει ν' απαντήσεις την Ελένη | and if it happens that you meet Eleni

πως μ' ένα φορτηγό πες της μπαρκάρισα | tell her that with a I have left on a freigher

και τώρα πια να μη με περιμένει | and that she should no longer wait for me.

Αλήθεια, ο Χάρος ήθελα να 'ρχότανε | Tell you the truth, I wish Charon would come

σαν ένας καπετάνιος να με πάρει | like a captain, [when he comes] to take me,

χτυπώντας τις βαριές πέτσινες μπότες του | stamping, with his heavy leather boots

κι ένα μακρύ τσιμπούκι να φουμάρει | and smoking a long chibouk.

Αλέξη, νιώθω τώρα πως σε κούρασα | Alexis, I feel now that I tired you,

μπορεί κιόλας να σ' έκαμα να κλάψεις | maybe also I made you cry,

δε θα 'βρεις, βέβαια, λόγια για μια απάντηση | you won't find, of course, words for an answer

μα δε θα λάβεις κόπο να μου γράψεις... | but you won't need to take the trouble to write...

nikolas · April 22, 2002

Again, I am concentrating on the differences.

The part before the seperator is mine, the next one is yours.

learn, the doctor said to my mother | Let me tell you, the doctor said to my mother

Indeed, your is better!

lowly the doctor, in the corridor, was speaking | the doctor told it, low, in the corridor

if I have to normalize it, I will do it like 'the doctor was speaking lowly in the corridor'

and I heard it, in the room it was getting dark | and I heard it, the room darkened

I would just remove 'in the' in front of 'room' but keep first one.

and the noise of the street disappeared | and the noise of the street stopped.

Yes, I would use yours. I know that a noise can't dissappear, it was more like under a poetic license...

Do you remember, that I dreamt of trips | Do you remember, that I dreamt of travels

I agree that yours is better.

and I had a diabetes and a map | and I had a compass and a map

why should diabetes become compass? A compass is πυξίδα... :confused:

and always to leave I was preparing | and always I was preparing to leave

Normalization accepted...

Now, on the window, a ship I schemed | Now, on the window, a ship I drew

I will take yours!

and a Magr's lyric I have scratched | and a verse from Magr I have scratched

yes, yours is fine.

tell her that with a storeship I have left | tell her that with a I have left on a freigher

I assume that 'with a' has been forgotten there. Otherwise yes, I 'll tkae yours.

Really, I 'd like Charon to come | Tell you the truth, I wish Charon would come

like a captain, to take me | like a captain, [when he comes] to take me,

stamping, with his heavy leather boots | stamping, with his heavy leather boots

and a long chibouk to be smoking | and smoking a long chibouk.

I think both are much the same. I think the syntax and grammar is ok in my attempt, so I will slightly prefer it, since it follows the song, exactly.

Once again, many many thanks

Geske · April 22, 2002

Of course, it's from the differences that something is to be learned. I'll just list my proposals with some explanations, and you can see which you like...

'the doctor was speaking low, in the corridor,'

because the adverb (επίρρημα) for low is 'low' (lowly does not exist).

και τ' άκουσα, στην κάμαρα σκοτείνιαζε κι ο θόρυβος του δρόμου σταματούσε

I think what he describes is that sensation, when you've just had a bad shock, like the light has suddenly gone out and you've gone deaf as well; but possibly he just describes the end of the day, the light and the noise dying down; in fact, it's probably both at the same time, being poetry.

Σκοτεινιάζω has no exact equivalent in English, you have to use either "to grow dark", yielding "in the room it grew dark", or "darken", yielding "the room darkened". The first is closer in grammatical construction, but I think the second is closer in meaning.

Charon: your verse follows the construction of the original, but its meaning in English is no quite clear. I think "αληθεια" here means exactly "to tell you the truth" (as in "it's a strange thing to say, but...) - but I can live with "really" if you insist. And for σαν ένας καπετάνιος να με πάρει : how about in the likeness of a captain, to take me I think that comes closest to the meaning. And your last verse is correct greek grammar but in English it doesn't quite make sense, sorry.

For fun, some word - traps :

Trip vs travel: a trip is either a short excursion or journey, or a drug thing. (Travel is more ample).

"to scheme" in English means to make a conspiracy

"diabetes" in English exists only as the name of the disease; the other meaning is expressed by the word "compass".

Tell me what you think and I'll clean up the translation, ok?

Geske · April 22, 2002

Oh, and I forgot: who is Μαγκρ ?

nikolas · April 22, 2002

'the doctor was speaking low, in the corridor,'
because the adverb (επίρρημα) for low is 'low' (lowly does not exist).

I remember my mum making it clear to me about 10 years ago (my mum has studied english literature), that lowly does exist as an adverb and is not totally the same as low. Lowly means χαμηλόφωνα, not χαμηλά, which is the meaning of low. Lowly also means humbly. Now, I don't say that my mum is the non-mistaking person, I just add some credibility to my sources Maybe some native English, like Kate or Lynne, can help us.

και τ' άκουσα, στην κάμαρα σκοτείνιαζε κι ο θόρυβος του δρόμου σταματούσε
I think what he describes is that sensation, when you've just had a bad shock, like the light has suddenly gone out and you've gone deaf as well; but possibly he just describes the end of the day, the light and the noise dying down; in fact, it's probably both at the same time, being poetry.

Yes, both interpretations make sense. I saw it the way I did, because for me, it didn't seem that he wanted to say that those things happened at once, when he heard the news. Instead, the duration of the facts makes them a bit more dramatic and mainly, more melancholic, which goes better with the atmosphere in the poem, which is melancholic and not tragic.

Σκοτεινιάζω has no exact equivalent in English, you have to use either "to grow dark", yielding "in the room it grew dark", or "darken", yielding "the room darkened". The first is closer in grammatical construction, but I think the second is closer in meaning.

That is why I used a descriptive model, saying getting dark. Ok we can replace it; my point was the tense and not the word.

Charon: your verse follows the construction of the original, but its meaning in English is no quite clear. I think "αληθεια" here means exactly "to tell you the truth" (as in "it's a strange thing to say, but...) - but I can live with "really" if you insist. And for σαν ένας καπετάνιος να με πάρει : how about in the likeness of a captain, to take me I think that comes closest to the meaning. And your last verse is correct greek grammar but in English it doesn't quite make sense, sorry.

OK then! (I am afraid I can't do it better)

"diabetes" in English exists only as the name of the disease; the other meaning is expressed by the word "compass".

Geeske, the other meaning is that of an instrument, which is used to draw circles. I can't understand how a compass can cover this meaning. Also, if diabetes is used in English only for the disease, which is ok, then my dictionary also gives the word 'dividers' which maybe what we are looking for.

francois · April 22, 2002

Lowly means χαμηλόφωνα, not χαμηλά, which is the meaning of low.

I have just checked on my OED (Oxford English Dictionary), and I confirm what is quoted above.

Geske · April 22, 2002

About lowly:

it does exist, yes, I know, but it's very unusual - even in books it's quite rare. "To speak lowly" is not, as far as I know, a normal expression to use in English; maybe it's me who missed it, though. But I think the usual way to express this meaning is "in a low voice" (meaning the tone as well as the volume, is that right?)

About compass: my mistake, it should have been compasses (plural), which is the same as dividers, which is the word we want. Sorry! It's dutch and french that use the same word for both, not english.

I'll try and make a cleaned-up version to post, and see how you like it.

Geske · April 22, 2002

Here you are: see how you like it!